Change in Perspective

Happy New Year!

The Andrus clan sends you our warmest hugs and happiest smiles.   We love you all and thank you for  wonderful memories that you helped us create in 2013 and for the future ones we will share in 2014.
The last month has been one that has greatly tried and blessed our family.

      Our little ninja princess made her big debut at the end of October, but by December she had become quite a social butterfly.  Our family received many invitations to events and visits and we quickly realized it was so we could show off the newest member of the clan.  We love Elena and are beyond grateful and happy to have her with us.  The boys are ecstatic and eager to tell everyone that we are 5 boys and ONE girl.  (Sometimes the faces that are made in response to that unprovoked declaration are hilarious). 

     In mid December I had a procedure done to rid me of the kidney stones that I enjoyed with this last pregnancy. I am beginning to think we should start buying lottery tickets, since we always seem to "beat" the impossible odd.  Yes, this was the second time I had multiple extra large stones, in both kidneys that could not pass on their own.  And yes, again, this was the second pregnancy that I was gifted with such an experience.  Well, instead of fixing and removing the stones, the procedure made it possible for me top develop a horrible renal infection.  A life threatening one.

     I will spare you the messy details, but in short, for about 36 hours it looked as if I might not come home.  My temperature was at the brain cooking point and my blood pressure was MIA.  Lots of things come into ones mind when one is in this situation.  I have been thinking about death, and life, parents, children, families, faith, endurance optimism and strength for almost a year now. My sister and brother in law this past year lost a sweet son.  The words they shared at his funeral have been engraved on my heart.  On my sister in law's blog she has been bravely and honestly writing about her feelings as she navigates the new world she was thrust into.  Many of her words were with me as I was semi-conscious at the hospital.

Bonnie- the sharing of your sorrowful but sacred experiences has helped me more than you will know

     I used to think that life was a series of things that you were meant to accomplish, steps and changes you were supposed to make.  The "tender mercies"of the Lord were the small things that made life joyous as we completed the journey, smiles and hugs while we finished the task.  My unexpected vacation has changed my perspective, for which I will forever be grateful.... and hopefully better.  I still believe that there are tasks and events that we are meant to complete and achieve, but that the real journey and challenge in life comes from the growth of being able to see the small miracles that surround us and CHOOSING to rejoice in them.
      Here are some examples...

The old me would have been frustrated that I lost the opportunity to have a cute christmas pre-chaos picture.  The new me smiles and is grateful to be here to see a son feel confident and comfortable enough to share his honest feelings.  ( It helped to know that just a few minutes later William would be in seventh heaven with his guitar)

The old me would have gotten sad (and a little mad) that some "nameless" child was not getting along with his brother and then not only get he get his fingers dirty, he immediately went and "cleaned" them on a white blanket.  The new me just laughs, knowing it is just a moment between two brothers who normally look more like the second picture.  Then I laugh again for being crazy enough to think that anything white will stay white in a house full of active boys.

This next one presents a question : Do I become upset upon seeing Ethan with this face, knowing that this face generally results in hours or whining and ear splitting yelling, or do I feel grateful that the 4 months I was on heavy pain killers during his pregnancy did not affect his mind or lung capacity in the slightest?

I guess you can kind of see where I am going with this idea.  I change in perspective has brought me a better attitude.  I am finding it, day by day, easier to be more optimistic and to laugh at myself.  Laugh never happens the way you anticipate.  A lot of annoying things happen, which can make for funny pictures and memories later. Sometimes really horrible things happen to us and the only thing that keeps us going is our attitude, our perspective.  Amongst my friends of latin decent, a common phrase present in many prayers is " Lord, we are grateful for life.  We are grateful for health.  We are grateful for family and friends.  We are grateful for one day more."  I always thought it was generic, almost hollow of meaning, but now... I GET it.  I am GRATEFUL for life.  I AM grateful for health. I am grateful for FAMILY and FRIENDS. I  am grateful for ONE DAY MORE.    It was the simple things that I wanted to come home to.  Husband, children, noisy playing, messy bedroom, laughter and crying at 3 am.  I need to be around for many more jello fights, costume shows, wii tournaments, and hugging contests.  I want to be there to comfort more nightmares, wipe more bloody noses, console more hearts after mean words have been spoken.  I want to live.  Really live.  Enjoy the miracles around me, choosing not to be frustrated by the mundane worldly wrappings that generally the come in.  Thank you for being patience and still loving towards me while I have been such a negative person.  That in and of itself has been a tremendous lesson for me. So as the year progresses, as the difficult times come, here are some of the miracles, the changes in perspective that I will be keeping close in my heart.  I hope you can find yours too.  Happy New Year!

and just a few more because I have been given many miracles during my life...