hi again

Hello again.  It has been awhile. We are still here.  And while that may not seem like much, it is.  The last 16 months have been difficult for the entire family, but especially for me.  Lets just call it a winter season.  I am hopeful that since we can see the light again, that spring is around the corner.
Accordingly, a lot has occurred. We bought a home in the south of Calgary.  It fits us well and is comfortable.  Bryant and I have been working the last few months every weekend painting the entire house. What a difference a change in color can make! The boys went back to homeschooling.  The last school year ended on a really sour note for most of them and they decided that they wanted to learn at home again.  Some days have been great...others, not so much.  However, we are learning, me most of all.  Bryant is busier than ever.  Calgary has been hit very hard with tons of job loses.  His job is not tied to oil, so no worries there, but it is very hard to see so many struggling in this rough environment.

The kids are growing like crazy.  Healthy and strong and strong willed and very opinionated. 

Haircut day

newest little one- Bellatrix

Enjoying not being a part of haircut day

I have been wrestling a lot.  Physically with my health, mentally with storms of depression, and spiritually.  One of the things I have been wrestling with is pride.  Pride vs humility seemed black and white so long ago.  Can "too much" humility be a bad thing? Is there such a thing as "righteous pride?" Can one have "righteous pride" in himself?  Where does self confidence and a strong, good self image place on this humility/pride scale? I don't know; maybe I'll never know.   But I am looking, searching, striving for an answer.  Maybe that's all I need to do. Anyway, I know that there are times when we question ourselves.  For me, the trick is to stay positive it that self reflection. At times it is so hard. Can you trust yourself? Can you trust someone else? Who? Who are they? Who am I?
This video touched me.   Maybe it will touch you as well.
http://www.mormonchannel.org/watch/series/mormon-messages/daughters-of-god

I was sitting in a class two weeks ago and the instructor shared this incredible picture taken in 1990.

the pale blue spot

This picture was taken from Voyager as it left the boundaries of our Solar System. The beautiful, wonderful majesty of this planet Earth is nothing more than a plae blue dot...a fuzzy pixel. Carl Sagan said :“From this distant vantage point, the Earth might not seem of particular interest. But for us, it's different. Consider again that dot. That's here, that's home, that's us. On it everyone you love, everyone you know, everyone you ever heard of, every human being who ever was, lived out their lives. The aggregate of our joy and suffering, thousands of confident religions, ideologies, and economic doctrines, every hunter and forager, every hero and coward, every creator and destroyer of civilization, every king and peasant, every young couple in love, every mother and father, hopeful child, inventor and explorer, every teacher of morals, every corrupt politician, every "superstar," every "supreme leader," every saint and sinner in the history of our species lived there – on a mote of dust suspended in a sunbeam."

The instructor then posed an interesting question: Do we need to know of our insignifigance, our nothingness, before we can comprehend and be stewards of our greatness?  Maybe this is what King Benjamin was teaching in Mosiah Chapter 4. Or maybe what Moses felt and understood as he was shown all of the Creator's labors and was wondered.  Maybe humility is recognizing the divinity within us, in a respectful manner, and using that power in an uplifting way? Maybe pride is when your vision becomes clouded or distorted then the divinity of others or yourself is no longer respected nor accurately used.

Lots of heavy stuff.  Sometimes it is quite weighing.  What do you think?  With what things are you wrestling?